We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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