Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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