guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Michael Bay diarrhea
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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