Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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