where am i from again
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize