I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
