too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
