what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize