we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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