I'm drive I can fine osifer
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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