problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
