Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
