Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you had me at cake vodka
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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