Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's never too late to be topless.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
