he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
