Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
