Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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