i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
