Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize