We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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