i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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