just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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