Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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