you guys were way drunker than both of me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
