dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
