I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
