I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize