I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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