we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
