but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
