Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
