i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
