some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
