need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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