Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
