Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
