i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
