I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
