Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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