we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
