I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
