Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
