no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
