she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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