i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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