just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize