No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
