she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize