you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Green mimosas i think yes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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