i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
