I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
