i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
