well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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