Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
