Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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