Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
