doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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