No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize