Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
