I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
