But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
