He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
