its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
